This Valentine's weekend, the movie of the international best-seller will be showing and will most likely draw in a huge crowd. I have a huge problem with for so many reason.
The first is this movie doesn't even need to be good to draw in alot of money. This is more an issue with the movie world then the film itself but I have a very bitter taste in my mouth in bad movies been thrown out 'cause they are due to make money. There's no sense of quality control which no one can argue against if you have sat to watch the Transformers movies. Maybe FSOG will be a decent film (not holding my breath) but I get the feeling that the producers knew that people would see it no matter what, therefore won't feel to need to put that much care and effort into it. I find that way of thinking unforgivable, but it happens so often in films.
That it however, only a small gripe in the grand scheme of things. Time to address the big one. I admit I have not read the book so critiquing it's content may seem narrow minded. But when you have large groups of marital abuse victims, sexual abuse victims, charities and people in the BDSM community calling this book out for nothing short but awful, that's an issue. Extracts from the book are very easy to find of the main character Christian Grey becoming possessive and even just abusive. For a book that has introduced alot of people to the idea of BDSM, it sends the wrong message I feel.
This leads to my biggest gripe with the film, book and the entire franchise. People will go to see this film, and then head home with the idea that they want to try all these kinky things, being tied with rope, ball gags, leather suits etc etc. The problem is many will go into this stuff with zero understanding about the thing. If anyone can show me otherwise then I will admit that I'm wrong, but I dont believe FSOG has safe words where the action is stopped there and then. Or even aftercare which the BDSM community has stated is probably even more important then the actual sex. Makes sense, if you are performing roles and using crops or whips, at the end of all that, those are wounds that will need taking care off. I doubt Mr Grey ever rubbed soothing cream onto any of Anastasia's (I hate the name aswell) bite or spank marks.
Then you have another draw back. Let me paint the picture, let's say a couple goes and see the movie and the wife gets all these ideas to spice up their sex life by buying all these harnesses and whips, only to surprise her husband with it all when he comes back from work. What happens then when the husband doesn't get any kind of sexual thrill from this, instead he just gets hurt? Could work the same the other way around, what if the wife is not into the husband trying to slap her with a whip. Any kind of relationship, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, boyfriend and boyfriend, girlfriend and girlfriend etc, you can run into the problem of someone not wanting to do this. This is what I find the most damaging thing about FSOG, the fact that it has inspired a lot of people to think this is the way to have an amazing sex life. In some cases, it will be, some couples will love it. Others won't however. People are different, we all have different things that we like, dislike, love, hate and most of all, turn us on. At the end of the day, is it really that hard with your partner to discuss what you wanted to do? I know that if I really wanted to be smack with a paddle till my arse turned red, it wouldn't be because some book written by a middle aged woman going through a midlife crisis is saying it would be hot.
Bottom line, as long as both parties are consensual, and you are not breaking any laws, then I suggest this. In the time that you could be going to see this movie, instead spend that time in talking about what you would both like and the ways you can do it safely. If it involves chains, then head down to your local hardware store. But if you are not into that stuff, a cozy sofa and a bottle of wine seems to work still. I could say there are no wrong answers when it comes to sex, but really you only get wrong answers when you try to guess.
Till next time